It’s really easy to use our trip to the other side of the world as a giant checkmark in the “I’m a good person” box.
If these thoughts are what you think I’m thinking…
I’m such a benevolent young woman that I left my comfortably paying job with benefits.
I just love Jesus so much that I signed up to nurse the sick and the outcasts to recovery.
We are so anti status quo that we stopped trying to keep up with the American Dream.
Rather, we will abandon all selfish desires and go serve Christ in Africa!
Then you are wrong.

It’s been tempting to feel pretty awesome about what I’m planning on doing (of course, it’s not reality until it’s reality; we are still in NY at the moment). But it has made me very aware of my general failings, not usually life-altering, but consistently reminding me I’m human.

Can we imagine for a few moments that I actually was thinking those aforementioned thoughts all of the time? Pretend I really did think so highly of myself constantly… or that joining ranks with Mercy Ships really did mean I was, in essence, a fantastic person (which I’m not)…

It still wouldn’t matter. Not only would it mean nothing, I’d actually be a waste of time and space. I would be downright annoying; my efforts for naught.

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.”
 
1 Corinthians 13:3-7

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